Dear friends who loves me I'm sorry to disappoint you cause i'm still the old useless bitch like before I don't know how to discard my luggages and move on I'm feeling really vulnerable and fragile despite how hard i party every night I still went home alone
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I told everyone i'm going to quit drinking but in order to do that I think i need to quit "YOU" first
Yes I need to get out of this shit soon soon soon Ok i know i've said that for 987654323456 times But i really don't understand why
I went to the guan yin temple at Bugis several days ago Other than bai-bai I itchy backside and go qiu qian
Of course Its xia-xia qian Meaning = Bad Interpretation
It says:
"The road is narrow while the horse is lame A pedestrian weary like a vanquished soldier who has lost his comrades The mast snapped and the ship wrecked The sun darken flowers die snow falls"
Meaning:
" Best to do what you are doing now Be quiet and you experience peace Do not hope for good results Best to forget your problem"
The journey to Yishun at 8am was terrible The sun was glaring but my vision was blur First time in my life I wished the jam on road can stay forever Reached at 9am and registrations done My hand shivered abit and i had to force myself to sign my name on that dotted line
Two and a half hours of wait and torture It's finally time to go in Cold chair, soft music and dim light The last thing i remembered was the injection on my left hand
My head was spinning and i felt drained I slept for the rest of the day I had calls and text from friends who's concern about me except YOU And i guess you spent the whole night at golden mile Maybe drinking happily with your new siam bu toy I risked my life to set you free so Hope you enjoy your night I hope you really did
Since NYJ was gone My vision never been clear I felt worse than a murderer and I wonder how you feel as the mastermind
I felt so guilty when mummy hugged me before i leave the house But i know i'm blessed with the most wonderful mum on earth No matter how fucked up my mistake is She would forgive and love me still the same Thank you and I love you Mommy =)
This pool of shit makes me realised that i do still have friends who loves me I thank everyone who cares about me For your time and effort spent listening to me Lastly I'm grateful to O's mother for treating me like your own But I'm sorry that I can't do what you want me to do I hope you understand
Seems that everything had ended Another chapter of my life closed
Dear God Please bless me with the ability to let go and move on Hope that my wounds can heal fast and new additions to my scar collections I know my life is screwed once again
Being a wilful and stubborn piscean I can't stop myself from being stupid I'll wait for you to grow up
